Mixed feelings is here to haunt me again, once I board AirAsia bound for Bangkok. I just want to know what is gonna happen soon and a month from now.. My mind is playing tricks on me.. Sometimes I wonder if what I hv said and did for the past few days is right or wrong.. I cant differentiate it.. How would she think of me? how would her parents think about me? how about her family members? after all of this, i might have make her parents wonder, the same goes to my parents..
I felt that I am born to this world for no reason at all.. I bring chaos & discomfort to those I loved most.. I really regret for what i have done.. I want my someone special to be happy and be with her through thick & thin.. I just want some support & a chance to mend what i have done.. and to get my special someone back..
Can I get her back is still a very big question mark.. I cant stop myself frm thinking about her..
cant stop myself from looking at those photos that we took.. her smiling face is the best thing in life that I could never fail to look at.. such simple thing can make me smile and remember those time that we have spent together.. I even read all of the greeting cards that she gave to me..
all those messages and words that she pen in is so touching and nice..
all those pictures remind me of how she behaves and be her own little angel.. it shows the brightest and softer side of her.. caring, soft, polite, understanding.. ^_^
I really hope and pray hard that no one will put their hands into our relationship.. no intervention from whoever.. i dont want anyone to spoil everything that we have shared throughout the years.. I want to do it on our own.. i pray that we will be back together and give her anything that I could offer.. giving happiness to someone is a great thing to do, it is a big honour.. there is no complains and sacrificing some part of our ownself for others is called love..
it is not a stupid thing to do.. when there is problem, i dont want to trouble her.. cos she is my little angel, and as a guy, i shud take everything and lift all problems frm her and frm everyone i love.. If I could take troubles away from my loved ones, I am damn happy.. ^_^
In my 23 years of life, the most defining moment to date is graduating, working and falling in love.. parents spent their whole life grooming their children and put hopes in them. then i will feel that i have done part of it. and the rest is up to me to walk, time to get involve with things and make some serious decisions.. haha that is the most important chapter in my life, for the first time in my life, i did actually bring some kind of happiness to someone, work and bring some changes to SIIS, getting into the real world.. a young naive kid making some impact ^_^
It is never really easy when u try to step into a world of adulthood.. handling pressure, juggling time, and sorting priorities is such examples.. it is different from studying, where it is a dog eat dog world.. it is a cold, harsh and unkind world out there.. people fighting to achieve their dreams and climbing up the mountain of society.. u will get to see office politics, u will see how people move around and how they handle difficult customers.. learnt how to portray yourself and get to see great people doing great things.. Life is really not a bed of roses..
you know everything happened so fast for me, so fast that i cant catch what is really happening at times.. as a thinking ape, alot of things does really brings up some sense and will make u think seriously.. for instance, to face with a challenger whereby i cant really stand up and put up a brave fight, makes me feel kinda useless.. it is like fighting a war with no horses, chariots, spears and men.. at times i am not sure who is wrong or right.. at times i wonder, who can dictate who is right who is wrong.. maybe what we can dictate is needs..
after more than a year staying away from love ones, i really feel that loniness is slowly creeping towards me and a certain kind of bond is beginning to loosen.. it is so hard to face it alone.. only with colleagues at my side, it is not enough.. sometimes we will resort to drinking.. sigh.. it is not a good solution as it is bad for health.. when i think of going back, i was so enthusiast, but when i reach back at home, i realise that i dont have much time.. time time time...
this quote is indeed very true.. whoever pen this quote is indeed a wise man..TIME & TIDE WAITS FOR NO MAN
its funny how God arrange things for us.. in a very unexpected way, he will give what u wish for, but of course not in a straight foward way.. with much twist and a few 'unfortunate' events ^_^
then u will get what u wished for.. what we can do is hope for the best to come.. ^_^
Love & Tears Is The Greatest Bond Between People,
Lessons In Life Is The Greatest Gift & Guide For A Person,
Time Is The Most Precious Thing For Every Soul That Walks The Earth,
Communitation & Trust Is The Medium That Brings All Of Us Together
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