This post is actually carried from Friendster, which I never published in Friendster before. It is written well before 29th Sept:
I just wish to go back immediately.. the wait and pain is just too great to handle.. I know I am being silly thinking so much when i should not, but all of it just comes to my brain.. angry at myself, envy, sad, guilty, confused, feeling sorry, and feels bad all in one package..
But sometimes love will make ppl do things they have never imagined, things that would make your love ones happy, but will cause great pain for ownself.. I am willing to do it.. Just for her.. accept her as my friend and let her have breathing space and let her think and cool down.. i dont want her to endure the pain.. I Love U
Cant sleep on 25th Monday Sept.. I dont know why.. I just cant get to doze off.. just a simple and normal sleep, and i cant even have it.. the whole night, i am just twisting and turning on the bed.. what is so wrong with me? went to toilet numerous times and i still cant sleep.. i feel very cold, very weak and my whole body aches..
not right until 5am, i dreamt.. dreamt of a few people.. me, my girfriend, CLK (roommate), my brother.. 3 of us guys stayed together but we have only one car, and all 3 of us needs to go out at the same time.. we discuss who should take the car.. I need to see my girlfriend, CLK needs to see his parents.. my bro, needs to go out to have group study.. there is some disagreement.. im so fedup.. then my girlfriend called, asking me to take her car which is in a parking lot.. i went out and get the car happily as fast as i can.. but :( there is alot of obstacles along the way.. when i try to get out of the lot, everytime i wana get thru the paying station, it closes.. there are so many paying stations and the guy jus happily closed it down (and in each floor), everytime i reach the paying station.. then the dream ends and i woke up, still wide awake at 5am+.. the dream jus last a few minutes
what does this mean? a message? a hint? i guess i will never get to know what happens next.. i know that there is alot of obstacles in everyone's life.. He the Almighty can just do so much to show us, and the rest is up to US to choose, to choose a path that will lead us into or out of darkness.. I just want "light" to guide me.. i have found a beautiful "light" once and it guide me to happiness and joy.. Now i just want to go back and find MY "light" i once have.. i want to be the source of energy for MY "light", be your HOPE and be your LOVE.. I am so far away from MY "light".. I want to go back, go back, go back..........................
No comments:
Post a Comment